Value and Worth

The last two weeks have been very demanding and this coming week will be no different.  Even though its under the guise of entertainment.

JJ typing, was Reading a Post  something yesterday and it struck me.  Value and worth.  How it related to my last two weeks.

These last two weeks has been hell for my murder table.  Real-life firmly placed it on the side burner. I'd like to share my last two weeks to give you an idea what I've done instead of painting.  This is quite important.

Let's start with the 15th Sat hung out and played 40k with Shawn.  Had the rare quality time with him.  Getting to know him better as a person.  Building our relationship.  He's a single-father of four, who are all in school, and works for telecommunications company which has him on call a lot.

16th Sun 5hrs painting Tallarn's Chaplain.

17th Mon assembling some of Shawn's wraithknight.

18th Tues making buttons/badges for CONvergence dealer's room.  Little work on wraithknight.

19th Wed drinkfest with Donnie and Serge.

20th Thurs commission website making with Love.  Damned good quality time talking about us and our future.

21st Fri gaming night.  After game BS.

22nd Sat commission website making with Love.  Solid time together finally starting to build the site after our first night looking at our options for web hosting.

23rd Sun CONCOM (CONvergence committee) meeting with department meeting before and post CON hang out.  10hrs, all networking for future CON relations.  Have my eye on running dealer's room for 5 years then running for board member of CON.

24th Mon spent too much time at The Source looking for paints, F you Reaper paints!, for IG squad.  Little work on IG.

25th Tues had the extremely rare opportunity to have some one-on-one time with Suijin.  He's also a family man with a tight schedule.  Excellent time together.  Little work on IG.

26th Wed drinkfest with Donnie, Serge and Jason.  Little work on IG.

27th Thurs commission website making with Love.  Putting some meat on the bones.  More time together.

28th Fri gaming night.  After game BS.

29th Sat commission website making with Love.  Completed website.  It is ready to for its 1st July launch.

Fri night I said that I wanted to sleep in Sat and not work on the site.  Wanted to wake up grab a beer and sit at the table and not leave til midnight.  Said that many times.  Perhaps some part of me is sabotaging my desire to create the site and move onto better things than corporate paychecks.

As many of you can probably tell, from new posts usually landing every day, I normally spend anywhere from 15-30 hrs a week at the murder table working on models or games of 40k.  It is truly a part time job.  Feels nothing like it.  Feels awesome to Just Be.  To be at one with my environment and understand my place in that moment.  These last two weeks have been fantastic.  Not only have I continued to build relations with parties I'm deeply involved with.  I've developed further relations with people I care about and genuinely want to get to know more.  The rare evening of hanging out with Suijin alone.  The giggling and hugs with Love while struggling with the site.  Learning more about Shawn.  Networking with CONCOM members.  Getting know other people in my life.  Connor, Simon, Wade, Kathy, Liz and various others at the many events throughout these last two weeks.

I'm a person that very much needs a lot of me time.  It has been an issue with ladies I've dated and my Love.  Go, go, go from one social event to another is not my forte.  It may appear to be.  It really isn't.  I need to recharge my batteries.  Preparing myself for the next jungle gym of social interaction.  Looking back at that schedule I've only really had one day to spend any actual time modelling/painting.  I want time to be alone, A Lot of time.  Need to take care of myself to be a better person when I'm hanging out with others.

At least that's what I thought.  Wasn't til today while reading that blog post that had "value or worth."  It hit might like lightning.  Given the opportunity to repeat these last two weeks; the few hours at the table and many hours building relationships.  I'd it all over again.  There is value in time at the table and what it can produce.  Getting to know key people in my life is worth so much more.

As I just typed that something occurred to me.  The strange thing about it all is that I don't feel as empty as I usually do.  I feel full.  Almost as if filled with some sense of being.  Some purpose.  Can't really put my finger on it.  Need to take a moment or two and focus on that feeling and asking myself several questions.  May I provide answers to those questions.


slainte mhath