Tuesday, April 16, 2013

When you feel your heart leaving the game

You may have had those times.  Something about the hobby just isn't giving you the same excitement as it once did.  It becomes a little harder to get excited.  Don't have the same bounce in your step or light in your eye.  Somethings missing and you're desperately looking for it before giving up.

JJ typing, won't lie.  The loses with my Purifier army has really soured my mood.

As I told a group of buddies several months ago "If someone new to the game thinks they can just buy an army and win, they are very naive."  Never thought there was an auto-win button with Grey Knights.  It seemed when I was playing against them it was easier to win with Grey Knights.  Then again I was facing a different list.  My Purifier list has been an absolute bear to learn.

The list has lead me to 1 win and 10 losses.  Have to say it is the hardest list I've ever played.  After my tenth loss I felt really bummed.  First thought was to give up on the current army and put other models in.  Something I don't want to do til at least 5 wins.  Figure by that that time I would have a great idea of what the list can do.

One crazy thought, after my 10th loss, I had was selling my Purifier list and board on ebay for 2 grand.  Nah.  Don't want to be one of those players that sells an army and say that they once had it.  Then perhaps buy it again.  Terrible waste of resources.

During the game I was talking about the amount of fun I was having with Connor and it was hard for me to think about my tactics.  Then I mentioned perhaps pulling my Necrons out again for a win.  40k buddy Joe x asked "Why would you change to another army after you figured out the other army [Necrons]?"  Regardless of the amount of losses, must continue playing the list.  Eventually I'll try a different tactic.  Which maybe exactly what I need.  Connor mentioned that I should use my Necrons while he uses my Purifiers so I can see from the other side of the board the short comings of my list.  Joe x said it really helps.  While the losses have become disheartening and has pulled a lot of joy from the game.  There has been another side to the coin.  I've learned a lot about myself and Grey Knights.  Slowly learning the tricks of the army has lead to closer and closer games.  While I've experienced losses with every army I've played.  For some reason it has been more difficult with Grey Knights compared to other armies.

Regardless of the losses I need to keep my chin up.  The rest of that evening joy was hard to find.  Unable to shake the losses I found myself feeling sorry for the results of the games.  I didn't even type up the BatRep the same night.  In fact went to bed early.  Last thought that went through my head 'this must be what depression feels like.'

An olde friend of mine once said "A nights sleep is the quickest journey between despair and hope."  Found myself refreshed, surprisingly so, and ready to take on the world.  More appropriately ready for the next battle with my Purifiers.  Perhaps I need to change my perception, refocus my thoughts.  Not focus on the number of losses, instead frame the past as a great and pleasant learning experience.  Then I may let go of those games and move forward onto success.

List's don't win.  General's do.  This list has taught me that my "General's bag of tricks" is sorely lacking.  Perhaps force myself into deploying only one side or be extremely aggressive over the next couple of games to step outside the box I've been working in with my Grey Knight.  Basically change how I've been using my Purifiers.

slainte mhath


  1. While I agree that lists don't win, a good general can make a bad list sing (or at least seem playable). I have Army ADD and love switching between armies. My two standards after I gave up on Nids mid 5th edition have been CSM and SM. This makes me knowledgeable in 40k but not enough to master the tricks of my armies. I am familiar with dealing with losses.

    I take the losses in stride but really enjoy playing the game. The best learning for me was to be the baby seal at each location I have played at. Be it with my local gaming club or at NOVA. Take each beating with a grain of salt and ask for advice. I also try to play as much as the wife will allow. Usually once a week.

    One thing I do is add another piece to my army when ever I am stuck or board. It took me 6 months to stop worrying about losing Forgefiends. They were there to soak up wounds or allow crush things.

    Switching armies usually makes me happy long enough to feel the pull back to my original army. Then when I play it I feel fresh again.

    GK is a hard army because it's a low model count army that can crush if it works out or lead to huge losses. I played it for a few months and loved it but it wasn't my thing. I hate seeing it opposite of me because I have a small window to make something happen before it all goes south.

    Keep your chin up!

    1. Sean, I like how to say 'take each beating with a grain of salt.' Advice after the game has become a constant thing since my seventh loss.

      Perhaps using my Necrons again will help my morale.

    2. Sean, I completely agree. A great general can make poor lists awesome on the field. I've seen it at least once.

  2. I definitely echo Connor's suggestion; my friend has been having similar issues with his Space Wolves, in particular in handling hordes. In our last monthly tournament, 2 of his 3 games were against Tyranids with 2+ Tervigons at 1,000 points. Giving him a chance to use a horde army against his army will help him both see the weaknesses and vulnerabilities of the horde, as well as the strengths of his normal list. While you are probably already familiar with the weaknesses of Necrons, using them against your Grey Knights can help you see what tactics or match-ups will favor the Grey Knights and which will put them at a disadvantage. I definitely like this approach also because seeing how someone else uses your army might let you see some strategies you hadn't considered.

    1. That is something I've asked a 40k buddy of mine Simon. That I want him to use my Purifiers so I can watch him. Learn what he's doing. Connor would be as good of a teacher also.

  3. I have been in this mindset for years now. I specifically choose terrible lists (I err on the side of 'fluff' rather than effectiveness), and it makes playing against alot of players rather frustrating. I seem to be part of a rare, and shrinking base of players that don't spend hours thinking about which unit is good and which isn't. And the result is me walking away with more losses than wins.
    The way that I keep my chin up is that I recruit new gamers and then have fun with them. After each battle, I commiserate about my losses and ignore the victory conditions (up to and including winning, and still feeling like I lost). That really proves to me that I'm not keyed in on the meta aspect of the game and only care about how well my army does compared to the 'fluff.' (As in, how the hell did I lose a combat against Crisis suits with a Blood Angel command squad?!) And then it feels good to see my opponents do the same.
    Just remember, it's a hobby about building models, backed up by fantastic stories, and then rewarded by tempting probability. Consider your Purifiers to be in training. Or maybe they are tying one arm behind their back just to see if they CAN win that way. Or maybe they are tired of not killing Daemons, their whole purpose in life. You got dis, man! I understand how you feel. :-)

    1. agemmanjw, 'tired of not killing daemons' damned funny!

      I agree, last game with Connor while he was giving me the smack grounded me in reality. Have such a fun time gaming with him that the tabling didn't sting as much. Imagine against a different opponent and it would've bothered me more.

  4. You know, when I was playing, often I would face very nasty lists across the table. I would often just pick a secret mission objective. (like keep a HQ alive or kill an enemies well painted unit) This helped me enjoy the game and could cause fits for an enemy trying to figure out why I wasn't going for the win.

    1. Spyrle, I like that a lot. Haven't done secret mission objective in years. Think I will start doing so while figuring out my Purifiers.

      Thank you.


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